The scream

Our perfect summery carefree Easter ended with a bloodcurdling, gray-my-hair scream at the bottom of our basement stairs.


Jilly has always been a screamer. A great screamer. When she is angry, she will scream knowing that it is as painful as a slap. When she falls and scrapes her knee, her hands, her elbow, I’ll hear her scream and rush to her side. A band-aid fixes all.

But, this scream couldn’t be stopped with a band-aid. Missing the first stair in our cold concrete basement, she fell sideways and slammed her tailbone into the corner of the stair. A red welt rose up where she hit.

We carried her to the couch, covered her bottom with ice and fed her candy which helped. But an hour later, she needed help to get dressed and brush her teeth. She cried out in bed, but more ice and pain reliever tablets helped her relax enough to sleep.

And, now I wait at my kitchen table to see what today will bring. Will there be more ice and pain-relief tablets, or a hospital visit for x-rays?

In the early morning light, I wait for her call, although I naively hope that she’ll bound down the stairs instead and ask for candy.

This morning? She can have it.


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My little girl is standing on her own now. She can walk v-e-r-y slowly and is sitting up on a pillow. I think it’s just a bad bruise, so we’ll just take it easy for a few days.

Pregnant with Cancer? You aren’t alone. . .

Two years ago, I wrote that my sister-in-law was going in for a double mastectomy for breast cancer.

Later that year, I showed you the beautiful photo of her baby girl.

But, that wasn’t the whole story. There was a big story in between “mastectomy” and “baby”.

After her mastectomy,

after she canceled her June wedding,

after she canceled her Italian honeymoon,

after she realized that she’d probably never birth a child once chemo had finished ravaging her body and, probably, her supply of eggs,

and right before she went in for a second surgery to remove lymph nodes to check them for cancer,

the doctor shut the door to the exam room and told my sister-in-law that she was pregnant.

Newly pregnant, but needing chemotherapy which could not be done in the first trimester.

Her choice in those early days was a) delay chemo to protect the baby, but likely give own body over to cancer; b) abort and start chemo right away, as her first oncologist recommended, but most likely never get another chance to have a child.

Her dream of having a child of her own collided head-on with the nightmare of having cancer.

She is now telling her story so others who have to walk the same scary path won’t have to do it completely alone. Please stop by and say hello to my brave sister-in-law, and friend, at her blog, ChemoMama.


Hand, medium rare

A while ago, I opened up our little decade-old microwave, put my hand in to take out a cup of hot milk for cocoa, and noticed I was cooking my hand.


The microwave, which should have shut off when I opened the door, was still on even with the door opened.

I shut the door quickly and contemplated my hand. It seemed fine but, ewwwwwwww.

That microwave was discarded, and we talked about getting another, but I wanted to try an experiment: Would I miss having a microwave?

That was at least a year ago, maybe two, and I guess my answer would be: no.

A kettle of water for tea takes just a few more minutes to boil. Same goes for warming milk for hot cocoa, or heating up leftovers. And popcorn is actually a little more fun to make in the hand-cranked popcorn maker I grabbed for under $20.

Sometimes I wish I still had a microwave, but then I think about cooking my hand and that wish goes away.

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Can you tell I’m about to embark on a kitchen renovation this spring?

So, as I descend into kitchen-planning madness, what “typical” kitchen appliance or feature could you not live without? For me, it is the garbage disposal, the dishwasher and the trash compactor. And, if you try to take away my coffee maker, I’ll bite you around the ankles until you let it go.