I could be an unschooler, if I just understood how

When I first started thinking about homeschooling, I was immediately drawn to the concept of “Unschooling”. I loved the idea of letting my kids learn at their own pace, of exploring the world with wonder and excitement, not glumly sitting at the table while I lorded over them.

From the get-go, though, I stumbled. I remember joining Unschooling message boards and feeling way out of my league. These were women (and men) who forged metal, knew the periodic table by heart, knitted sweaters, raised chickens (from eggs!), and took month-long hikes with a compass and a map. They knew the answer to any question, and not after first saying, “let’s check Google!“. They were smart and resourceful and definitely did not use the television as a babysitter.

There were also the Radical Unschoolers who had no rules for their kids other than basic safety guidelines. Their kids were up until 11 and slept until 10. If my kids are up after 9pm, I start to twitch. I remember innocently asking, “so how do you go about teaching your kids to read” and having the wrath of many descend on me for daring to use the “t” word.

I backed away, slowly, and adopted a more traditional approach. I read The Well-Trained Mind and loved it because it seemed to take away all my worries that my kids would not learn anything if left to my own devices.

But, and this is a big “but”, it also turned our homeschool into exactly what I was trying to avoid.

When I say, “time to do grammar!“, I’m met with groans. History, my oldest’s favorite subject, has become a chore. Science, a favorite among all three, is hardly touched since I can barely get through math, reading, spelling, history, grammar and language in any given day.

But, when I try to loosen up, my kids play. Just play. OK, before you guys say, “but aren’t they supposed to play?“, I say, “yes!“. I want them to play. But, why is it that the unschoolers I read about have kids who do math emails for fun, or start reading chapter books on their own? Mine will sit and play with dolls or blocks or puzzles for hours, which is great, but isn’t going to help with “six times eight” as far as I know.

Plus, many unschoolers do what looks like “school” to me with lapbooks, math curriculum, schedules/charts. . .which makes me think that maybe unschoolers are regular homeschoolers with less rigidity?

And for you, how do you make sure your day isn’t consumed with your own tasks/needs/jobs? If I don’t tell myself “school starts at 9:30″, I will find myself writing or cleaning or Googling something until 10 (or later). Especially if the kids are happily playing in the other room.

So before I go and make yet another schedule listing all the subjects we need to cover in a day, please shed some light on what makes unschooling work for you. But, if you tell me your family just finished building a homemade telescope to study the rings of Saturn, I’m going to weep.

Never too late to start school over


Happy New Year!

I’m stirring things up over at New England Mamas, offering advice on how to pull your kids out of school mid-year for those who just can’t face starting the whole thing up again on Monday.

Homeschooling family chooses school! News at Eleven.


Today I walked into the lobby, handed over some filled-out papers to the woman at the desk and signed my baby up for school.
Specifically, preschool. Three days a week, 9am to 1pm.

To most people, this is a milestone worthy of much thought, consideration and even a few tears. For me, it was that and more because I also have to grapple with the nagging feeling that I’m somehow failing as a homeschooler by doing this.

D, my five year old, is doing great at home. He’s reading, writing, building with blocks, playing with his Playmobil toys. He plays with other kids at swimming, coop, soccer and our weekly get togethers with other families. He goes to speech therapy once a week and his teacher loves to see him for that hour.

But, I’ve been feeling like he’s left out in the mornings when I sit down to do work with his sisters, who are in 1st and 3rd grade. He spends those hours playing mostly on his own, not interested in joining us at the table or for any read-aloud stories. And I feel stretched so thin that I am admittedly glad he plays so well on his own. But, there are signs that maybe he needs a bit more action.

Then comes the subject of friends, something I wrote about, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, when I titled a post “My Son Has No Friends“. Our neighborhood has a few boys his age but nailing them down for a playdate is tough.

So, I let the concept of preschool enter my brain, but as many of the preschools in our area are now 5 days a week or afternoons (which conflicts with too many of our activities), I had all but given up. But, then a great preschool five minutes from our home sent an email saying a child was moving and a spot would be opening in their 3-day, 4/5-year-old class.

It was a sign I couldn’t ignore. We went to the school to visit and D fit in immediately. I liked the teachers, and the kids seemed well-behaved and interested in their projects. Their days will include free play, story time, outdoor playground time and some skills building. Oh, and lunch.

So, yeah, D’s going to preschool. Starting November 2nd. And just when most parents are getting used to the drop off and walking back to their cars with hardly a glance behind, I’ll be the one wiping tears from my eyes as I walk back to my car, my two older girls in tow, hoping I’m making the right decision.