I know I don’t speak for all homeschooling parents, but for the past couple of years, when I hit May, things start to unravel just as I need to button everything up for the reports. Our schedule becomes incredibly complicated, the warmer afternoons are ideal for just running around outside, and I’m tired, oh so tired.

But, even though I want to just take a nap, in my head, I mentally go through all the items on my school district’s required reports for Belly, my 2nd grader:

Did we do art this year? Well, yeah, I can easily recall paintings, and drawings, and toothpick-and-gum drop creations, beaded jewelry, clay people, tribal paper-bag masks. But art history? Well, no, not really. But boy, I’m glad I didn’t waste time teaching her the whole “crazy Van Gogh chopped off his ear” story.

Now what about music? We have a piano! I review CD’s of kids’ music, and she has to listen to them too. She even used to sing in the church choir until that interest sort of waned (funny, right at the same time as my interest in church).

Science? Meh. . .we did ok.

Social Studies? I still don’t even know what that is.

Foreign Language? Ummmmmmmmmmmm. . .I say “Je ne sais pas” and “Mon Dieu!” a lot around the house; does that count?

We’ve done awesome in the “Go Outside and Play” subject area (oh, wait, that’s called “PE” in report-language). We’ve made real progress in Math (after a very rocky start). We kick ass in History, if I do say so myself. Reading & Grammar? Not bad, not bad. Oh, crap, Spelling. . .she’s up to Lesson 9! Out of 30. Whoops.

Call me cocky, but I think it’ll be ok. I know she’s learned things this year, even if they don’t all neatly fit into “subject areas”.

And, really, I need to relish this reporting season. Next year, I’ll have two kids to report.

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A few people know that I’ve come about “this close” to giving up on homeschooling this year.

It wasn’t because of one bad day, or even a stretch of time. It was more a feeling that maybe this wasn’t such a great choice for us after all.

Some of this feeling was because this year has been one of adjustment. The biggest was the loss of a central meeting space for our large, multi-family coop. When oil prices skyrocketed, the church we were meeting in once a week (with its gym, classrooms and kitchen area) had to drop all its mid-week groups. Finding a new space that had all of these amenities (and was not occupied by preschools during the day) proved futile. And, so our group drifted apart.

There has been my ongoing struggle with Belly and math. We have switched to our third math program and, thankfully, no longer fight daily over her lessons, but she still struggles. I wonder, “is it me”?

There have been my concerns over Jilly, the “middle child” who does not have nearly the social network of my oldest. Wouldn’t she be the cutest kid in her kindergarten class? Would she be happier, less melancholy about turning six?

Then there is D, whose speech is still a concern, as is his lack of same-age playmates.

And, then, because I am no martyr, there is me. Or “ME”! People joke that I spend a lot of time on the computer, but holymotherofwhomever, I think I’d go bat-shit crazy without the internet. In other words, I do get a little twitchy from having the kids near me all day long–especially as they get older and seem to need me less for survival and more for maid service. KWIM?

BUT, things have been looking up.

We’ve fallen into a better daily rhythm and probably a more realistic school work load than what we were attempting to do in the past. I’ve learned that if it ain’t done by 1pm, it needs to wait to another day unless it involves coloring or reading. Belly is also making some small progress in math which is gratifying.

We’ve eliminated any morning activities or commitments, other than the occasional doctor appointments. Morning is for school and for my daily intake of coffee. Period.

I’ve started up a new coop with three like-minded friends. It is much smaller than our other coop, but the kids play well, I like the women and we rotate houses. We’re also in our third year of meeting with another family every week to do history projects and that, thankfully, is still going strong.

We’re trying to have more fun in the middle of the day, when kids are in school. This is perhaps the thing that Belly likes most about homeschooling: that she isn’t in a classroom until after 3pm (her friends get off the bus close to 4). On Friday, we went sledding in the middle of the afternoon and had the slope to ourselves. Tomorrow, we’re swimming midday at a newly refurbished YMCA (I call this “PE”).

Small steps in the right direction, but they are starting to add up.

Next year, I’ll have two children to report to the school district. Belly will be in 3rd grade, and Jilly will be in 1st. It won’t get any easier but I do think this homeschooling thing is starting to grow on me.

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To My Kids:

I have no idea if I’m doing the right thing.

Part of me thinks homeschooling will be one of the best things you’ll remember of your childhood.

Part of me thinks you’ll hate me for it.

Today I wasn’t in the mood for any of the nonsense. The 40 minutes to do a 5-minute section of math. . .the sibling arguments. . .the “I can’t do this” whine.

So, yeah, I did pull up the public school’s website to see what I’d need to do for a mid-year enrollment. But, I don’t want to make that kind of decision out of anger or frustration.

I want to make the right decision. For all of us.

We’ll try again tomorrow and, hopefully, we’ll figure this out.

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