Tap (right). Tap (left).
Wait. Did I tap left? Tap (left). That was too hard. Need to tap right again. Tap (right).
OK, better.
—————————
Did I shut off the light?
Walk back to room. Light is off.
Turn it on. Turn it off.
Am I ok with that? No? On. Off.
Walk away.
Wait. Need to check that it is definitely off.
Go back and check.
————————
Need to count. Start at zero. Get to twenty and wonder if I thought of the number 17. Start back over at zero.
———————–
This was my teen life. I’m not sure what brought it on, or what made it go away.
But, it did go away.
I think.
There are times, though, when I wonder if I have just suppressed it. Like tonight, when I walked into the kids’ room and saw stuff everywhere. The rationale side of me said, “go to bed; they can clean it up in the morning”. The other side said, “we need to do it now, now, now, now, now, now”. So we did it now.
And, then I felt better.
*in spite of the cutesy title, I’m not sure if my behavior qualifies as OCD; I do know it was something I couldn’t really control.
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