The Fairly Odd Mother

Scratching My Seven-Year Itch*

July 6, 2007

I was asked to provide you with a little more info about myself, from both PDX Mama (“Seven Things“) and Lucy (“Eight Things About Me“)

Since I know I’ve done something like this before, I thought I would deviate slightly from the original formula and instead tell you “15 Things I Learned During My Weekend of the Triple D’s—Drinking, Debauchery and Dopiness”.

As you may know, I just spent three days in Boston with my best high school girl friends. To protect the guilty, no names will be used in this expose, but photographic evidence will be admitted.

15 Things I Learned During My Weekend Of the Triple D’s

1. Seeing a large black car pull into the driveway to drive us to Boston made me squeal like a little pig.

2. I can get myself around Boston better than a limo driver. Specifically, I had to crawl to the front and practically drive the car from the highway to the hotel. He then asked me how to get back to the highway after he dropped us off.

3. Tapas is the best food to eat before going out since I could eat it without getting too full, leaving plenty of room in my belly for alcohol.

4. Leaving too much room for alcohol, though, was a bad thing when the laughing got so loud that security came to the room at 1:30am (we really are sorry, Room 2317). Plus, I started taking pictures of the girls doing things like this:

5. Even after almost *seven years of “drinking lite” (see title), I could still somehow put away three margaritas, a shot, a beer and some crazy drink that is topped in champagne. . .and then got up at 6:30 am to do some laps in the pool.

6. However, at about 5pm the next day, I fell into an exhausted heap on the bed and begged for a nap.

7. This nap was interrupted dozens of times, since I refused to shut up already.

8. When we walked up to the restaurant for dinner the second night, and saw no one eating inside, we did the smart thing and ran away.

9. However, at the next restaurant, I was told that the first three things I tried to order were “not available because they are changing the menu on Monday”; at that point, I should’ve just eaten the bread and called it dinner.

10. I also should not have done a shot called a “Red Headed Slut“, because then all my pictures started looking like this:

11. Fortunately, while I may have red hair, I kept my wits about me for the evening. I did, however, end up licking a friend.

12. I learned that you cannot photograph yourself in a dark bathroom with a flash camera. I think I was trying to capture how fabulous my hair looked at that one moment. And, no, I am not getting the Heimlich treatment at the same time.

13. I was able to perform a small act of villainy, evidenced by this glass that I smuggled, half-full of beer, out of the bar.

14. I now know for certain that going to sleep at 4:30 in the morning is a very bad thing. Almost-40-year-old bodies do not recover quite as quickly as 20-year-old bodies.

15. Finally, I know that these women will be my BFFTHFO, which makes a 4-day hangover seem pretty inconsequential.

Filed Under: Fairly Odd Me, Family n Friends 12 Comments

Three Cheers for the Red, White and Blue!

July 5, 2007

Happy Fourth of July, from my little firecrackers to yours!

Filed Under: Fairly Odd Kids 5 Comments

Flashbacks of a Good Kind

June 28, 2007

I keep having flashbacks to my youth.

First it was watching The Best of the Electric Company, thanks to Netflix. I remember liking this show when I was younger, but couldn’t remember much about it.

Now I remember what made it so awesome: Morgan Freeman as Easy Reader (oozing coolness in his too-tight bell bottoms); Letterman (Faster than a Rolling O, Stronger than a Silent E. . .); child actors who weren’t polished into scary smiling robots; and an overall feeling that the people of this show were having a blast at it.

And then there was this:

Oh yeah, Inchworm. We had this growing up but my mom ditched it years ago (probably during one of her “I have two girls who are getting old, and I have nooooooo grandchildren” fits). Luckily my sister got this one from a friend, and now my mother’s FIVE grandchildren will be able to ride on this for years to come.

Then I saw this person:

M. is one of my oldest childhood friends; we met when I was almost 8, she was 9, and we lived a street apart until college. It didn’t matter that she was a jock and I was a girlie-girl, or that we didn’t even go to the same high school.

Since college, she has lived in New York, Japan, Colorado, The Netherlands, and now, California. During this same time, I have lived in Rhode Island and Massachusetts. It doesn’t matter that we seemingly are so different—-we have all the right things in common that make a friendship last decades.

Here we are in 1984, looking just too cute in matching Hampton Beach-wear.

And, now, this weekend, I will see this crew:

(sorry J.; as you know,we took this with the ‘blonde‘ camera; we can almost see you off my right shoulder!)

These are my high school girlfriends. Over the 20+ years since graduation, we have lost touch and reconnected with each other several times. Our kids range in age from 2 to 13. The last time we were all together was our 20th high school reunion in ’05.

This weekend we will descend upon Boston like locust, or maybe more like five drunk housewives who can’t believe they have just left the kids with dad for two whole nights. If history has any bearing, it should be a very fun few days.

I mean, look at what we were up to in 1985:

Yes, those are the “French Fry guys”. I think I was red.