Sorry Seems to be The Hardest Word

Time: just before 5:00 pm

After a busy day, I’ve jumped on the laptop to hit my favorite site (allrecipes) to figure out what to do with leftover chicken.

Belly enters the room and begins w-h-i-n-i-n-g about dinner. “I’m huuuuunnnnnnggggggrrrrryyyy!”, she wails. “I want a snaaaaaaaaaaaack! You are so meeeeeeaaaannnnnnnn!”

I put her off nicely for a minute, and then lose my cool, shouting, “I AM TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO MAKE FOR DINNER SO GO AWAY AND LET ME DO THIS!!!!!!!!”

Her face crumbles, and she runs for her bedroom where I can hear her crying upstairs.

My heart feels that little ‘pang’ as my anger dissipates. I walk up to her room and tell her I’m sorry for yelling, but that she should also apologize for being such a pest.

“Get out of my room!” is her only reply. Sure ‘nuff! No problem there.

A few minutes later, a sheepish Belly comes into the laundry room, where I am folding clothes. I tell her again that I feel badly for yelling, but I also expect her to speak to me with a little more respect.

Quickly changing the subject, she tells me a story about something that happened earlier in the day, something that was sort of funny and silly. I recognize that she is trying to build a bridge back to me, so I laugh with her. I feel better.

She turns and walks out of the room, pausing to say, over her shoulder, “I’m still not ready to say sorry”.

Comments

  1. Oh man, they really know how to get in one last dig, huh? When you related the part about your daughter trying to build a bridge back to you, that really resonated. It’s wonderful how they use humor to reconnect. Even if they’re not quite ready to apologize…

    🙂

  2. Oh, The Joys says

    I think it is one of the hardest things to say because somehow we learn that it implies blame. It took me until I was [cough] almost 40 [cough] to realize “sorry” could simply mean “I’m sorry for how YOU are feeling.”

    Duh.

    I’m so slow.

  3. *Ouch*
    What are we going to do when they are 15-25?

    Gosh, with 2 girls in your house, its going to get awfully interesting!

  4. Well, at least she’s in touch with her feelings LOL…

    I like the way you put your annoyance aside when she reached out to you and met her halfway. You’re a good mom FOM.

  5. Mary Alice says

    There have been a couple times in my life where I wasn’t quite ready to say sorry either. I knew I should, but I wasn’t ready. Good modeling Fairly Odd Mother.

  6. Pinks & Blues says

    She seems like a very smart little lady. It’s definitely the mom/daughter dynamic… and it’s so normal, which I’m sure you know. I know what you mean about the “pang” in the chest when you told her you were looking for recipes… I did that the other day when we were picking up toys and one of my guy’s emptied them ALL OUT again! It had taken us an hour to get everything back into some sort of neat organization. And I snapped at my little man, who just – dare I say it, laughed! Hopefully by the time you get this… she was ready to apologize! 🙂
    – Audrey
    Pinks & Blues

  7. Pinks & Blues says

    She seems like a very smart little lady. It’s definitely the mom/daughter dynamic… and it’s so normal, which I’m sure you know. I know what you mean about the “pang” in the chest when you told her you were looking for recipes… I did that the other day when we were picking up toys and one of my guy’s emptied them ALL OUT again! It had taken us an hour to get everything back into some sort of neat organization. And I snapped at my little man, who just – dare I say it, laughed! Hopefully by the time you get this… she was ready to apologize! 🙂
    – Audrey
    Pinks & Blues

  8. Pinks & Blues says

    She seems like a very smart little lady. It’s definitely the mom/daughter dynamic… and it’s so normal, which I’m sure you know. I know what you mean about the “pang” in the chest when you told her you were looking for recipes… I did that the other day when we were picking up toys and one of my guy’s emptied them ALL OUT again! It had taken us an hour to get everything back into some sort of neat organization. And I snapped at my little man, who just – dare I say it, laughed! Hopefully by the time you get this… she was ready to apologize! 🙂
    – Audrey
    Pinks & Blues

  9. Pinks & Blues says

    She seems like a very smart little lady. It’s definitely the mom/daughter dynamic… and it’s so normal, which I’m sure you know. I know what you mean about the “pang” in the chest when you told her you were looking for recipes… I did that the other day when we were picking up toys and one of my guy’s emptied them ALL OUT again! It had taken us an hour to get everything back into some sort of neat organization. And I snapped at my little man, who just – dare I say it, laughed! Hopefully by the time you get this… she was ready to apologize! 🙂
    – Audrey
    Pinks & Blues

  10. Pinks & Blues says

    She seems like a very smart little lady. It’s definitely the mom/daughter dynamic… and it’s so normal, which I’m sure you know. I know what you mean about the “pang” in the chest when you told her you were looking for recipes… I did that the other day when we were picking up toys and one of my guy’s emptied them ALL OUT again! It had taken us an hour to get everything back into some sort of neat organization. And I snapped at my little man, who just – dare I say it, laughed! Hopefully by the time you get this… she was ready to apologize! 🙂
    – Audrey
    Pinks & Blues

  11. Pinks & Blues says

    She seems like a very smart little lady. It’s definitely the mom/daughter dynamic… and it’s so normal, which I’m sure you know. I know what you mean about the “pang” in the chest when you told her you were looking for recipes… I did that the other day when we were picking up toys and one of my guy’s emptied them ALL OUT again! It had taken us an hour to get everything back into some sort of neat organization. And I snapped at my little man, who just – dare I say it, laughed! Hopefully by the time you get this… she was ready to apologize! 🙂
    – Audrey
    Pinks & Blues

  12. Pinks & Blues says

    She seems like a very smart little lady. It’s definitely the mom/daughter dynamic… and it’s so normal, which I’m sure you know. I know what you mean about the “pang” in the chest when you told her you were looking for recipes… I did that the other day when we were picking up toys and one of my guy’s emptied them ALL OUT again! It had taken us an hour to get everything back into some sort of neat organization. And I snapped at my little man, who just – dare I say it, laughed! Hopefully by the time you get this… she was ready to apologize! 🙂
    – Audrey
    Pinks & Blues

  13. Pinks & Blues says

    She seems like a very smart little lady. It’s definitely the mom/daughter dynamic… and it’s so normal, which I’m sure you know. I know what you mean about the “pang” in the chest when you told her you were looking for recipes… I did that the other day when we were picking up toys and one of my guy’s emptied them ALL OUT again! It had taken us an hour to get everything back into some sort of neat organization. And I snapped at my little man, who just – dare I say it, laughed! Hopefully by the time you get this… she was ready to apologize! 🙂
    – Audrey
    Pinks & Blues

  14. Pinks & Blues says

    She seems like a very smart little lady. It’s definitely the mom/daughter dynamic… and it’s so normal, which I’m sure you know. I know what you mean about the “pang” in the chest when you told her you were looking for recipes… I did that the other day when we were picking up toys and one of my guy’s emptied them ALL OUT again! It had taken us an hour to get everything back into some sort of neat organization. And I snapped at my little man, who just – dare I say it, laughed! Hopefully by the time you get this… she was ready to apologize! 🙂
    – Audrey
    Pinks & Blues

  15. Pinks & Blues says

    She seems like a very smart little lady. It’s definitely the mom/daughter dynamic… and it’s so normal, which I’m sure you know. I know what you mean about the “pang” in the chest when you told her you were looking for recipes… I did that the other day when we were picking up toys and one of my guy’s emptied them ALL OUT again! It had taken us an hour to get everything back into some sort of neat organization. And I snapped at my little man, who just – dare I say it, laughed! Hopefully by the time you get this… she was ready to apologize! 🙂
    – Audrey
    Pinks & Blues

  16. Sorry IS hard. It’s something we’re working on with our kids, too.

  17. pinks & blues girls says

    She sounds just like me. I’ve always been a little stubborn, even though I don’t stay mad long. That is hilarious.

    Jane, P&B Girls

  18. pinks & blues girls says

    She sounds just like me. I’ve always been a little stubborn, even though I don’t stay mad long. That is hilarious.

    Jane, P&B Girls

  19. pinks & blues girls says

    She sounds just like me. I’ve always been a little stubborn, even though I don’t stay mad long. That is hilarious.

    Jane, P&B Girls

  20. pinks & blues girls says

    She sounds just like me. I’ve always been a little stubborn, even though I don’t stay mad long. That is hilarious.

    Jane, P&B Girls

  21. pinks & blues girls says

    She sounds just like me. I’ve always been a little stubborn, even though I don’t stay mad long. That is hilarious.

    Jane, P&B Girls

  22. pinks & blues girls says

    She sounds just like me. I’ve always been a little stubborn, even though I don’t stay mad long. That is hilarious.

    Jane, P&B Girls

  23. pinks & blues girls says

    She sounds just like me. I’ve always been a little stubborn, even though I don’t stay mad long. That is hilarious.

    Jane, P&B Girls

  24. pinks & blues girls says

    She sounds just like me. I’ve always been a little stubborn, even though I don’t stay mad long. That is hilarious.

    Jane, P&B Girls

  25. pinks & blues girls says

    She sounds just like me. I’ve always been a little stubborn, even though I don’t stay mad long. That is hilarious.

    Jane, P&B Girls

  26. pinks & blues girls says

    She sounds just like me. I’ve always been a little stubborn, even though I don’t stay mad long. That is hilarious.

    Jane, P&B Girls

  27. I hate fighting about saying sorry. My 4 yr old is so stubborn about saying sorry and I often wonder how much to push it.

    Allrecipes rocks!

  28. Frightening to think, but flash forward ten years and you’ll look back on this as a sweet memory.

  29. Mary Alice says

    Fairly Odd Mother – just wanted to let you know that tag you’re it at my blog 🙂

  30. I have 2 daughters myself. My 9 1/2 year old and I have been averaging 1 fight every few days…..

    I don’t remember fighting with my mom at that age, but I am sure I did….

    blech

    Good luck

  31. sandy shoes says

    Nice post.

    It’s not never blowing our cool, but owning it when we do, and being clear about why, that matters.

    I think you’re doing a great job, and so is Belly.

  32. o praise the uu g-ds that some one else does that……..

    erika

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