Sing Along

Karaoke is a bad, bad thing. Never mind that while on vacation this summer, Fairly Odd Father and I got on stage (separately! twice!) and sang ridiculous songs like Hollaback Girl (me) and Tainted Love (him). The most sobering thing was seeing kids sing lyrics that were way too old for them.

The girls all loved the High School Musical songs, especially the slow ones about love (or should I say, LUV). The boys either stayed off the stage or sang backup in groups. There was one notable exception: a teenage boy who sang a song about a shotgun, too much liquor and the wasted life.

And then. . .a group of giggly 11-year-old girls, wearing flip-flops, tank tops and braces got up and sang this to the crowd of frozen adults and lip-syncing kids:

Right now he’s probably slow dancing with a bleach blond tramp,

and she’s probably getting frisky…

right now, he’s probably buying her some fruity little drink
cause she can’t shoot whiskey…

Right now, he’s probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo…
And he don’t know…

That I dug my key into the side
of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats…

I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,

slashed a hole in all 4 tires…

Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.

Yes, no one knows revenge, name-calling and bitterness like your typical 11-year-old girl.

Singing lyrics that are too “big” for the one singing isn’t anything new, though. I remember loving the song, Afternoon Delight, and having no idea they were singing about a mid-day quickie. I thought that ZZ Top’s Pearl Necklace was about jewelry. Songs like Rod Stewart’s Hot Legs or Billy Squier’s The Stroke were just fun to sing, and I didn’t really ponder their meaning.

So, now I’m a mom. And, of course all of this is going to bite me in the ass. I just expected it to come out of the mouth of my 6 year old. Instead, I heard my 4-year old singing an Avril Lavigne song called “Girlfriend” the other day (as it was playing on the ‘Kids’ digital music station on our TV). The chorus goes like this:

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

(amazingly profound lyrics, aren’t they?)

I think it would’ve been enough for me to hear Jilly singing these words, but alas, that wasn’t the case. Instead, she was jumping around the room singing, at the top of her lungs:

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I’m your naked girlfriend!

Yes, should be an interesting adolescence in this household.


  1. Hilarious Post. I am still cracking up.

  2. theotherbear says

    Gee I’m not sure that a song basically saying “dump your girlfriend and go out with me instead” is that much better than a song about being your naked girlfriend. The worst bit is that when we were young and sang along we didn’t know the real ideas behind songs that were more adult because we were kids, and we acted like kids. I find these days my friends kids seem to know more than is good for them and at a much earlier age too than when we were young. Although possibly I am just turning into my mother.

  3. suburbancorrespondent says

    Really? That’s what Afternoon Delight was about? Oh, man….

  4. I’m sort of startled that Afternoon Delight was about quickies, too. How did I make it to adulthood not knowing that? And also, why did we both mention High School Musical in our posts today? That’s just creepy.

  5. Mrs. Chicky says

    I always wondered why my parents threatened to take away my Prince album whenever I started singing “Darling Nikki”. Eh, kids don’t know any better. They just like the groove.

  6. You always make me laugh! It sounds like me letting the kids listen to Grease. I thought it would be a fun cd to listen to and then I started listening to the words…woops!

  7. AnotherMomCreation says

    Another one that makes me laugh out loud and remembering me in 3rd or 4th grade singing “LIke a Virgin” in my room.
    My mom must have been crying in the bathroom.

  8. Better watch out. My 24 yr old just got engaged this Christmas – the first one. They do grow up.

    I’m inviting people to sign up for a give-away I am having. No gimicks – just fun. It’s my way of celebrating one year of blogging.

  9. The ‘souped up 4 wheel drive’ song is one of DQ’s favorites, she knows all the words and sings it with gusto!…I love your daughters lyrics!

  10. For the record, I rocked Sublime’s Wrong Way. The only song I could find that had swear words. ;-P

  11. Life As I Know It says

    I had a 45 of Afternoon Delight (oh dear, I just dated myself) and remember singing that song ALL the time. Of course, I had no idea what it meant.
    It’s a classic, huh?

  12. Alpha DogMa says

    I loathe that Carrie Underwood song. I mean really: committing vandalism AND then carving your name in the seats? What kind of criminal genius is this woman?

    Otherwise I can’t complain as my five year old LOVES to sing “I shot a man in Reno. JUST. TO. WATCH. HIM. DIE.” To the delight of my mother in law who already thinks me a bad mother.

  13. Oh, that one actually made me laugh out loud. Awesome.

    I’ve had far more “Oohhhhh, THAT’s what that’s about!” moments than I’d like to admit. I love how naive we can be.

  14. Too funny! My oldest sings ‘I like big butts and I cannot lie’… Dad happened to be singing a part of the song one day and she caught on to the tune. Luckily, he turned it into a a PG version, but still…

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