Oh F*&K

“You’re the only person I know who says ‘flippin‘”, she said across the crowded restaurant table.

Wha—?”, I said, lost in some story I was telling.

“You just said ‘flippin‘ again. Do you often use that term?”, she continued.

“Well. . .as a matter of fact. . . yes. ‘Flippin‘ is my safe replacement for the more offensive f-word–the one that my children would be sharing with their playmates if I didn’t keep my trash-mouth in check.

Continuing on, I explained that I didn’t start with flippin‘. Frankly, I think flippin‘ is a bit weak. But, when I tried to use friggin‘, I found out that there are downsides: when Belly was 2, she sat down to dinner with my sister and mom. She picked up a piece of chicken, put it to her lips, threw it to the plate and announced, “That chicken is friggin‘ hot!”

Yeah, funny, but not so cute on a two-year-old. So, flippin‘ became my “safe curse” of choice.

After I had finished sharing my explanation, the conversation turned into a sharing of embarrassing child-cursing stories among the women seated at my table. There were some amusing tales, and I felt like we had all learned some valuable lessons. I drove home bopping along to The Rockafeller Skank on my Fatboy Slim CD and thought about trying to curse less in front of the kids.

This afternoon, I strapped the kids into the minivan, turned on the ignition and started to reverse when I realized I had forgotten something upstairs. I ran up two flights of stairs, grabbed what I had forgotten and then ran back down to the car. I jumped into my seat and started to reverse again when my brain registered what was playing on the car stereo.

This is what I had left for the children to listen to while I ran into the house (not safe for work, or for kids, incidentally).

I’m going to have to start saying Oh Golly Gosh and Goodness Gracious to redeem myself. And lock up my CD collection.

Comments

  1. That is good. I so want to be in your car pool.

  2. margalit says

    Bwahahaha. How frigging funny is that?

  3. Alpha DogMa says

    HEHEHEHEHE!

    You are so funny.

    And flippin’ has been redeemed for me by this video/: I’m the motherflippin’!

  4. Chicky Chicky Baby says

    Ooh, and it’s repetitive too. Really driving that word home! Ha!

    I’m sure they won’t need any therapy or anything. 😉

  5. Flippin’ is my favorite swear. I wish I remembered to use it more often.

    When I was pregnant with Phe, I remember battling with a nasty squirrel that was destroying the bird feeder.

    “F**king squirrel!” I yelled.

    The little man started repeating it over and over again until I ‘corrected’ him.

    “No honey. It’s FLUFFY squirrel. FLUFFY squirrel.”

    Oy

  6. breed 'em and weep says

    Is ‘freakin” acceptable?

    Aw, crap.

    p.s. thanks for coming by!

  7. I say “freakin” all the time. Of course, I USED to swear more than any human being I ever knew (aside from my father) and so my new Flanders-esque swearing is even more freaking remarkable.

  8. Anonymous says

    I guess they are past the age where you can convince them he was saying “Trucking”….

    No worries, even though you clearly warned me I still clicked on the link with my 3 year old in the room… Nice…

  9. Ahhhhh! Hysterical!

  10. freakin’ is the one around here. we have to stop it! the boys are six and nine! and they tell us to stop. oh well. maybe i’ll try flippin’ or golly gee.

    but probaby not….

  11. Jenn @ Juggling Life says

    God Bless America is my go-to phrase. I don’t know why I bother–they’ll all teenagers and have heard it all from someone besides me!

  12. That’s pretty funny. Perhaps you need to have “NWA day” in the car…

  13. Traceytreasure says

    Thanks for the laugh! I’ve had to tell my kids to not sing the cuss words in my Buckcherry and Theory of a Deadman CD’s. I haven’t heard of Fat Man Slim before. Big thanks to you and hugs.

  14. womaninawindow says

    You DID NOT!? Oh, I’m feeling much better now…to swear or not to swear, that is the flippin question…

  15. Too funny. My f-word of choice is freakin’ and today, my five-year-old told me not to say it anymore because “it’s a bad word, Mom, stop it or I’m telling Daddy.”

  16. I was never a super-duper potty mouth (as my daughter describes it), but I did let thee occasional word slip. I too moved from the “F” word to the flippin’ and or friggin’, but have since tried to eliminate those as well.

    It’s just not lady like, or man like for me. I do not enjoy hearing swear words form anyone, granted, I know they spill out, and that is fine, but I am finding out that there are alternatives to swearing.

    Long live the golly gee’s, holy mackeral’s(sp?), gee whiz’s of the world.

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