Where I Completely Blow the Mother of the Year Award

Scene: Outside with kids. I turn to walk into the house and yell back at them:

“Hey kids! I’m going upstairs to vacuum! Do NOT get hurt while I’m inside because I won’t be able to hear you scream!”


  1. TraceyTreasure says

    Isn’t that WHY we vacuum?

    I’m totally joking but that was funny! Yes, a comment of mine was deleted last week. Hard to believe huh?


  2. Yeah, and this is wrong why?

    One of my many, many gripes about this house is that there is not an upstairs – I simply cannot get very far away from the short ones. Happily, I’m hard of hearing and can be out of earshot in the same room. But still.

  3. SuburbanCorrespondent says

    I think I’ll go vacuum, too.

  4. What? That’s sound advice.

    I once told Jed that I hoped his plane didn’t crash. It was true. I hoped it didn’t.

  5. SabrinaT says

    HA HA!! We are looking at buying a house. I am thinking one with a soundproof master bedroom.

  6. Wouldn’t an ipod and a martini be easier ;-)?

  7. OMG, I am so glad I had already swallowed my coffee before reading this. I can so see that happeneing at my home.

    Can I join you in the losers ring?!

  8. Alpha DogMa says

    Welcome to the club. Your neighbours have probably already called social services.

    Back when I was childless and smugily superior about how to properly raise children, my sister-in-law yelled at her six year old child (who was wailing away in the basement), “You had better be bleeding. If I come down those stairs and there is no blood, THERE’S GONNA BE.” And the crying stopped, and this little voice called, “Nevermind.”

    NOW I know where my SIL was comin’ from.

  9. You’d steal the award away from me for “homemaker of the year” since I’m not exactly sure where we keep our vacuum.

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