You never forget your first time.
Five years ago, I had my very first colonoscopy.
And it was so much fun, I had another one last week. Well. . .actually, I was just due. And since last time they found an “irregular” polyp, I wasn’t about to ignore this date.
This time around though, my prep was different. Instead of guzzling a gallon of the disgusting, salty-sweet HalfLytely, I “only” had to take a couple of pills, along with two Gatorades mixed with an entire bottle of MiraLax powder. Yes, an entire bottle—that would normally last me years—guzzled down in an hour.
You can imagine what happened next. I’ll just go on the record to say that you should not drink blue Gatorade unless you want to think “swamp” every time you go to the bathroom.
And while the Gatorade was MUCH more pleasant a drink, this prep actually took a lot longer to work its way through me. Five years ago, I was “empty” and sleeping by 10:30. This time, I was asleep by 10:30, but up again at 1am for an hour as I was apparently not “finished”.
So, yeah. . .much, much more tired in the morning.
The good news is that the procedure itself was as painless and non-eventful as possible. The only thing notable was my doctor who started ranted about women’s rights over their own bodies, and the men who try to force their will on women. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t hallucinating any of this, though I do think it a bit ironic that he was saying this right before he shoved a camera up my backside.
The good news? As Katie Couric says, I was “clean as a whistle”–no polyps or anything of concern. Just come back in five years! And this time, no blue Gatorade.
For those new to this blog, you may wonder why I am telling you about such a personal medical procedure. My father died of colorectal cancer at the age of 63 after a long, painful battle. Since he isn’t here to tell you this, I will: Please, if you have any reason to suspect an issue, get a colonoscopy. If you are 50 years or older (or younger, if you have a family history), get a colonoscopy. If your parents have never had one, please urge them to get a colonoscopy (or get another one if it’s been five years since their last one). If you aren’t sure, go and read this post which should give you a general idea of what to expect.