Family n Friends

Scratching My Seven-Year Itch*

July 6, 2007

I was asked to provide you with a little more info about myself, from both PDX Mama (“Seven Things“) and Lucy (“Eight Things About Me“)

Since I know I’ve done something like this before, I thought I would deviate slightly from the original formula and instead tell you “15 Things I Learned During My Weekend of the Triple D’s—Drinking, Debauchery and Dopiness”.

As you may know, I just spent three days in Boston with my best high school girl friends. To protect the guilty, no names will be used in this expose, but photographic evidence will be admitted.

15 Things I Learned During My Weekend Of the Triple D’s

1. Seeing a large black car pull into the driveway to drive us to Boston made me squeal like a little pig.

2. I can get myself around Boston better than a limo driver. Specifically, I had to crawl to the front and practically drive the car from the highway to the hotel. He then asked me how to get back to the highway after he dropped us off.

3. Tapas is the best food to eat before going out since I could eat it without getting too full, leaving plenty of room in my belly for alcohol.

4. Leaving too much room for alcohol, though, was a bad thing when the laughing got so loud that security came to the room at 1:30am (we really are sorry, Room 2317). Plus, I started taking pictures of the girls doing things like this:

5. Even after almost *seven years of “drinking lite” (see title), I could still somehow put away three margaritas, a shot, a beer and some crazy drink that is topped in champagne. . .and then got up at 6:30 am to do some laps in the pool.

6. However, at about 5pm the next day, I fell into an exhausted heap on the bed and begged for a nap.

7. This nap was interrupted dozens of times, since I refused to shut up already.

8. When we walked up to the restaurant for dinner the second night, and saw no one eating inside, we did the smart thing and ran away.

9. However, at the next restaurant, I was told that the first three things I tried to order were “not available because they are changing the menu on Monday”; at that point, I should’ve just eaten the bread and called it dinner.

10. I also should not have done a shot called a “Red Headed Slut“, because then all my pictures started looking like this:

11. Fortunately, while I may have red hair, I kept my wits about me for the evening. I did, however, end up licking a friend.

12. I learned that you cannot photograph yourself in a dark bathroom with a flash camera. I think I was trying to capture how fabulous my hair looked at that one moment. And, no, I am not getting the Heimlich treatment at the same time.

13. I was able to perform a small act of villainy, evidenced by this glass that I smuggled, half-full of beer, out of the bar.

14. I now know for certain that going to sleep at 4:30 in the morning is a very bad thing. Almost-40-year-old bodies do not recover quite as quickly as 20-year-old bodies.

15. Finally, I know that these women will be my BFFTHFO, which makes a 4-day hangover seem pretty inconsequential.

Filed Under: Fairly Odd Me, Family n Friends 12 Comments

My Tough Little Niece

May 31, 2007

A fair number of family and friends-of-the-family check this blog out from time to time, so I wanted to share a few more photos of my delicious little niece who was born the other day.

Here she is with her arm in bandages, but beautiful nonetheless.

One thing I didn’t mention in my post about her birth is that when she was born, her arm was wrapped around her neck. This caused her poor little elbow to fracture as she was coming down the chute. Fortunately, she is a trooper and has already healed herself! So advanced for her age!

Here is the big brother, my adorable nephew, holding his new sister.

I love how he is looking at her. He has no idea that someday she will eat his Halloween candy.

Wait. . .is she saying something? He leans in to hear better, and. . .

. . .she eats his nose. Ahhhhh, siblings.

Filed Under: Family n Friends 8 Comments

I am in Love

May 22, 2007

Yesterday was a day for exclamation marks!

My sistah, the lovely “Mrs Q” who posts around the blogosphere from time-to-time, surprised us all! She had her baby a day earlier than her scheduled c-section!

Now, I was not there when the baby arrived, but I got the scoop, and since she has not started her own blog (yet. . .I’m working on her), I will share the scoop with you. It’ll be better if you imagine you are her, ok? Play along. . .

(dissolve to dream sequence; you look fabulous with this filtering thingy over the camera lens!)

Imagine that you are scheduled to have a c-section on Tuesday because your beloved second child cannot figure out how to get out of your belly. Instead of head down, or even feet down, this baby lies sideways, turning your poor distended stomach into a hammock of sorts. Sway, sway, sway. You are in p-a-i-n from all this swaying.

Imagine that in the darkened wee hours of Monday morning, you feel your water break. You start off for the hospital with your husband who breaks all land-speed records (he, in fact, causes a sonic boom!) by driving you to the one-hour-away hospital in 25 minutes.

Imagine that the hospital starts to get you ready for a c-section since the baby is still breech. You are still in triage, in a teeny, tiny little room. Everyone seems to be moving v..e..r..y…..s…l…o…w…l…y… even though your contractions are less than two minutes apart, and did I mention that this is your second child?

Imagine that you tell a nurse that you feel like you feel like there is too much pressure, you need to push. She smiles and tells you that all will be fine, to hang in there and wait for the anesthesiologist to get there (yes, you can imagine that this is all happening without a single narcotic in your system).

Imagine that you feel . . . something . . . and then, ohmygodthatisafootafootiscomingoutofmybodyohmygodohmygodohmygod. The nurse, glances over, shrieks, and runs out of the room screaming, “BREECHFOOTBABYBIRTHRIGHTNOW!!!!”, or something like that.

Imagine there are now eight others crowded into a teeny tiny triage room. One of these strangers gets the other leg down and then. . .SLOOP!. . .pulls out your baby after a couple of short pushes by you.

Imagine that someone cuts the cord and then the baby—-disappears! The nurses have run out of the teeny tiny room with the baby to find a place to clean the baby off. Wonder why you are still calling this child “the baby” and asks politely, “What did I have? Is it a boy? A girl?” Watch as everyone in the teeny tiny room looks at each other and realizes that no one knows! Someone is sent to find your baby, and you soon find out that IT’S A GIRL!

A beautiful, perfect baby girl with jet black hair and long fingernails. You are soon holding your perfect baby girl in the hammock position she loved for so many months.

Behold beautiful baby girl and momma.