One Stressed-Out Shredhead

I can stress about anything, so it should come as no surprise that I’m becoming increasingly stressed over my decision to exercise (almost) daily. I know that runs counter to what all the experts say about exercise, but the experts don’t live in my tortured brain.

First, there is the time issue. Mornings are ideal. But, mornings are ideal for a lot of things: working, planning my day, doing school with the kids, picking up the house, starting the laundry, talking to my mom. Oh, and lately mornings have meant soccer on Tuesday and art class on Wednesday which totally throws off my schedule. I am certainly not the busiest person in the world, so this shouldn’t be so hard to figure out.

If I don’t exercise in the morning, the spirit of Jillian follows me around the rest of the day as we go from one activity to another. “Gargle your heart“, she whispers to me. “You want abs like that?”. I know, I know. . .I’ll fit it in. . .later. Maybe.

When I get in front of the TV and pick a program from On Demand, I’ll fret about my decision: this is too hard! Why do I suck so much?, or I’m not even sweating! This isn’t going to do anything for me!

And then woe is me if I skip a day (or days). . .am I losing all the muscle tone I worked so hard to get? Why do those pants feel tighter? Why do I even bother?!?!

It’s enough to make me want to buy elastic-waist pants and forget about this entirely. But, I can’t. I won’t.

Instead, I add to my angst. As if making a sweaty fool of myself in the comfort of my own home isn’t enough, I’ve gone and added a layer of stress that comes from exposing myself to the public: I’ve joined a gym.

Someone give me a Valium.

Do You See What I See?


It’s been two-and-a-half months since I became a Shredhead, completed the 30 Day Shred in 40 days, and then joined up with Team Bob for continued motivation.

And, while many of my former Shredders have moved on to training for a 5K, I have soldiered on with the videos, trying as many different ones as I can about 4-5 times a week.

Results? You want results? Well, I’m not taking any half-naked shots right now, but I’ve got something to look at anyway. I started at 138, went up to 140 pounds and am now at my Holy Grail number: 130.

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(ignore my unmanicured toes, please)

I even fit back into my size 4 skinny jeans, although they really are a second skin. That’s good though, because if they ever got baggy. . . yeesh—that’s a little too much weight loss for me. I start to look like a stick figure when size 4’s don’t fit.

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The good news is that I haven’t been dieting, I’ve just been more conscious of what I’m eating and why. When I find myself reaching for a snack because I’m stressed or the kids are eating or “just because”, I check in with myself and ask if that’s what I really want. Sometimes it is, so I eat, or sometimes I just need a drink or a break or bed. I also haven’t been eating after 8pm (except for a few times) and keep a glass of water nearby at all times.

So, yeah for the Shred! Jillian (and Kristen who started this whole bloggy thing) is my hero(ine).

TV Turnoff Week: Day 1, 8:00am, and already an Epic FAIL

I’ve always believed there is a time and a place for television watching. That said, I kind of look forward to TV Turnoff Week because it forces us to change our regular routine.

But, last night when I was heaving my guts all over the place, I remembered that when Mama is sick and home alone with the kids, the television is just about the only thing that is going to save me on a long Monday.

If I can stand upright for more than two minutes without the room swimming around me or hold anything in my stomach by tomorrow, we’ll give it a go then.

But, today? I’ll be thankful my kids can nurse off the Boob Tube while I nurse myself back to health.