I Should’ve Just Used Amazon

We had a jam-packed weekend, and all in all, the kids were exceptionally well-behaved throughout. However, since all good things must come to an end, we were bound to crash and burn today at the bookstore.

Why do I think going to a bookstore is going to turn out well with three small children? Unlike the library, where they can pretty much pick out anything they want, at a store, where I have to PAY for the items, I am less likely to agree with their decision to select a thrilling SpongeBob SquarePants tale or Barbie Princess anthology.

Somehow I was able to steer D away from the truck books with plots that read as follows: “Truck, Digger, Plow, Tractor”. Instead, he picked out two other truck books, but at least these were written by someone I like and not the Tonka company.

After we piled up our books (I use “our” loosely since they lasted all of 30 seconds outside of the children’s section, so I did not pick out anything) and took them to the register, I got to endure the fun of waiting in line with children.

When it was our turn, D balked at handing me the books. As he protested, I told him, “OK, just put them on the counter so that we can pay for them.” As the unsmiling sales person leaned over to start scanning our other items, he threw his books with a bit too much gusto. They sailed past her ear and over the other side of the counter where they landed on the ground at her feet.

Sorry, other homeschooling families. I am afraid we did not represent well today.

How I Do It (Literally)


“I don’t know how you do it!”

Most of the time, when people say this to me with regards to homeschooling, they mean, “I don’t know how you find the time to take care of your kids, your home, yourself and also fit school into the equation.” Usually, when this is the actual meaning, I smile and say that it all works out for us.

But, sometimes, they mean this quite literally. “How DO you do it? Do you borrow textbooks from the school? Follow a certain curriculum? Visit Borders every week?”

That is a much more interesting question to answer.

Before I started this journey, I had no idea how much was out there for homeschoolers. And, I don’t mean just educational toys or games or books, but entire curriculum written specifically for families who choose to educate their kids themselves. Rainbow Resource Center publishes an enormous catalog with over 1200 pages of educational materials to order, and I’ve been known to sit down with it as if I am reading a good book.

Had I known how much there is, I may have run the other way. . .all the way to the school bus stop. Or, I could have maxed out my credit cards purchasing everything that sounded good. Or, just decided to go straight to an all-inclusive curriculum.

Instead, I did what many of us do. I read about different programs—be it math, reading, writing, history or science. I talked to other people I knew. I attended a homeschool convention. And then I started buying.

Some things I bought didn’t work. We’re on our second math curriculum after crashing and burning with the first. I haven’t sold the first since one of my other kids may end up preferring it over the one Belly uses now. I have so many reading/writing/spelling options I am embarrassed, although it gives you an idea of how panicked I was that Belly would never learn to read. I have books I’ve never used, namely a classical music coloring book that came with a CD. Apparently coloring in pictures of famous composers is not all that interesting.

Tonight, I am hosting a Curriculum Night at my house. At about 7pm, women carrying heavy boxes and bags will come through my front door to share what has worked with them. We will eat, drink, talk and pour over each other’s materials, asking, “what do you like about this”, “why don’t you use this anymore” and “how must does this cost”?

And, in a few short weeks, I’ll be online, putting in my order for September and crossing my fingers that I chose wisely.

The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round


I am afraid of school buses.

Nothing bad has ever happened to me on a bus (except for being excluded from the “way back” by the cool kids). And, I realize that schools have taken steps to make their buses safer for kids.

But, when I was in grade school in the 70’s, I was made to watch a Bus Safety Movie that scarred me for life. It was sort of Scared Straight for 5th graders, minus the jail scenes.

In one scene, a little girl exits the bus and runs in front of it as she crosses the street. Her handmade Valentine card slips from her folder and flutters to the ground, directly in front of the bus’ grill. She stops and runs back to grab her Valentine just as the bus driver steps on the gas. Cut to the Valentine blowing away down the street.

Another scene has a group of kids roughhousing as they climb over a snowbank to get onto the bus. The last kid in line slips and slides down the bank. . .under the bus. Buh-bye.

There were other equally horrifying scenes which probably live on in my subconscious somewhere.

So, while I may not remember a lot of what I was taught in school, I have internalized one thought:

Stay away from the bus.

Maybe THAT is why I homeschool.