The Fairly Odd Mother

Why I Was Never a Copywriter. . .

March 4, 2008

March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month! Let’s see if I can come up with a slogan:

Be Kind to Your Behind: Schedule Your Colonoscopy Today!

Fifty is Nifty (and time for a colonoscopy).

Make a Booty Call and Schedule a Colonoscopy Today.

Don’t be an Ass! Schedule a Colonoscopy Today.

Colorectal Cancer: Don’t Take It Sitting Down.

Colorectal Cancer: A Bum Rap.

(somewhere, I know my dad is groaning)

If you didn’t get a chance to read about my colonoscopy experience last fall, I’m sharing it with the good people over at New England Mamas. Click here for that post.

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Despite the title to this post, someone I know and love dearly entrusted me to write this for the coolest mom shopping site there is.

Filed Under: Fairly Odd Me, Health n Food Talk, New England Mamas 7 Comments

How To Feel Like Scum at 7:28a.m.

March 1, 2008

Belly came down to the kitchen this morning and immediately burst into tears. Thinking she may have had a bad dream, I held her and asked her what was wrong.

“The tooth fairy forgot to come last night!”, she wailed.

Ahhhhhhh. . .fuck.

Looking out the window of our kitchen, I saw the snow and came up with this explanation:

“Ohhhh, she didn’t forget you! See the snow? It snowed all night, and she can’t fly when her wings are wet!”

The hiccups and sniffles continued as I babbled on about the tooth fairy and her supposed struggles with Mother Nature. About 10 seconds into it all, I thought about revealing the truth (“Mommy is just a forgetful idiot”), but sensed that would be even more upsetting to her right now, so I kept the story going.

Memo to myself: pick up a little something ‘extra’ to tuck in with those two dollars tonight.

Filed Under: Fairly Odd Kids 13 Comments

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow, Part II

February 27, 2008

Before I get into my next stage of “hair confusion” (to see the first stage, click here), let me see if I can convince you to look at something else instead. . .

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First, I signed myself up to participate in Neil Kramer’s (of Citizen of the Month fame) Great Interview Experiment. The gracious, kind and intelligent Mocha Momma was selected to interview me. When I found out that she is High School Administrator, I thought, “Oh, terrific, she gets to interview the homeschooling mother-freak!”

But, I hate to disappoint anyone who was hoping for some sort of “School versus Homeschool Mom Death Match” , because she was wonderful! Her questions were fun to answer and hopefully give her readers (who are thinking, “who the heck is that loser in a prom gown?”) a good picture of who I am. You can find the interview here.

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Next, I’m over at New England Mamas talking about some great in-home birthday party ideas for the rugrats. “Great” meaning: not a lot of money or prep time needed, yet fun for the age group in mind.

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Oh, you are still here? Well, I have something for you.

When I last left you in Bad-Hair Land, I was looking pretty bleached and fluffy. Slowly, I started to wean myself from the peroxide and even started going shorter:

What a vixen, eh?

Looks like I slept with my hair rolled in Coke cans.

Still not ready to show off my ears. But, my hair is less filling!

At the end of my last post, I said I’d share a photo from my perm days. Those days are actually much earlier than this series of photos, but a promise is a promise. So here I am, circa 1986: