Never sign your children up for anything

 photo IMG_3561_zpsbd50760d.jpgThe biggest mistake I’ve made as a parent is that I started a playgroup for my firstborn when she was four months old.

FOUR MONTHS. Think about this: Why the heck did she need a playgroup at four months of age?

Let this be a cautionary tale to you new parents. Because, after a few months of pleasant chatting with other moms while our babies kicked their chubby legs on blankets spread carefully over the rug, the little buggers started reaching out and taking each other’s toys. I later remember the three little boys and three little girls all lurching around on unsteady legs, so excited to have someone their size to push over or hold onto when the world got spinny.

And, just like that, my daughter had a social life. And she knew there was a world “out there” that she wanted to explore.

So explore we did.

We went to “mommy and me*” gymnastics, swimming, and music classes that consisted of her swinging a tambourine around in my lap while we sang the most godawful tunes. As she got older, we added art classes, dance instruction, the “everyone gets a trophy” soccer teams, and group nature hikes where we drove twenty minutes to collected the same leaves and acorns I could collect in my backyard.

The whole time, I thought I was so smart. We weren’t overdoing it. Even as she got older, her activities never became of the “five day a week” variety like I saw with some of her peers.

But, I kept having children. And they too learned about playgroups and gymnastics and art classes. Last year, they even took indoor rock climbing classes!

Because I apparently forgot the whole mathematical rule that says (and I paraphrase): If you keep having children and keep adding activities, the cumulative effect will be that you will become batshit crazy. Or X + Y = *(@)#&!(*!!!!!!!!!!!!

This year, when I tried to assemble our jigsaw puzzle of a schedule using a color-coded spreadsheet, I had a revelation that I shared with Liz: “NEVER SIGN YOUR CHILDREN UP FOR ANYTHING.” Because now that they are 8, 10, and 12, they know there are so many things out there to do, and the world is their oyster.**

As homeschoolers, I could have had three children happily whittling away on the porch, who later go off to tend their backyard garden, or who retire inside to knit and read. I could’ve smugly laughed at all those parents who need color-coded spreadsheets to keep track of the days. They could’ve been hermits, and not even lonely hermits, because they have each other. And the squirrels in the back yard.

Instead, I’ve become that person in a minivan driving to the performing arts school, dropping off two kids so I can then drive the third to swim lessons, before picking up the other two, and rushing everyone home for an 8pm dinner.

It all started, I swear, with that playgroup when my oldest was four months old.


*we live in a more enlightened time now where these classes are called “parent/child”, but back a dozen years, things weren’t so politically correct

**provided their parents can afford it; horseback riding lessons, hockey, and skiing are still on the back burner for that reason

In praise of an uneventful year

No matter how many times I sit down to start a new post, I’m stuck with how to begin. I vowed I wouldn’t start with, “Hey, I’ve been gone for six months!” but here I am. . .saying just that.

Fortunately, there is no reason for the absence other than being a little tired of writing about my life and also getting a bit addicted by the immediacy of Facebook. You mean I can write two sentences in my Facebook status update and have 15 comments in 10 minutes, versus spending an hour editing a post? 

But Facebook posts seem lost within hours even though I’m sure they are still on some server. And maybe this can just be my own little space to talk and sometimes even say something worth reading.

2013 has been a pretty great year so far. I felt almost guilty on the phone with a good friend who is going through a tough patch when she asked, “What’s new with you?” Um. . .really, everything is. . .okay. Nothing too exciting to report. Nothing gossip-worthy. Nothing but putting one day in front of another day, looking back, and saying, “Things are going well.

What else?

She turned twelve (and got her braces off!):

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She turned ten:
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He’s still eight:

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My mama turned seventy!

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I finished a half marathon:

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We took a cruise—our first ever!

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We did this in Bermuda:

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She’s coming back.

This one is doing just dandy.

And we’re going here again.

We are still homeschooling, and I’m gearing up to have a 7th (gulp), 5th, and 3rd grader in September.

So, what’s new with you?


Comfort and joy


Wishing you all a Merry Christmas (or a Happy Tuesday!)

May you all get some special snuggle time today.